I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
