I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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