I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
