you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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