I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
