I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
