he told me I talked like a deaf person
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
