took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
