Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
try to milk me bitch
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
