is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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