Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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