U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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