You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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