i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
