Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
