id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have fence marks all over my body
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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