woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
