I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
