do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
