oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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