Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
