just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
