we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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