guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
