I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
