wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Randomize