You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
