I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
