And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
