Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
