You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
