Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
