yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
