Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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