she was so not down for the gang bang
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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