I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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