Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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