PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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