he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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