You smell like stripper and shame
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
