i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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