that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
