what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
