she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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