Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Send help, water and tortillas.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
