Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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