My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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