Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so let's talk penis.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
