I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
