Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
