"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
