Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
