no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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