these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I met the friendliest cop last night
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
