I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
